growing up

I was genuinely excited when my mom told me and Jake that we were going to be spending a good part of the summer with Grandaddy while she was away in Thailand. my grandaddy lived in eastern Oregon in a small cottage just off a dirt road. he had the only house for about 3 miles, and I always thought that he'd be lonely without Nana there but I guess not. my grandma died about 5 years ago when i was only 7, but my grandad got through it and moved on. he still hasn't taken her toothbrush out of the cup by the sink and her knitting is still on the coffee table, her shoes are still by the front door and her perfume is still on top of their dresser, it's like she never left.
Nana and Grandaddy always collected old antique nick-knacks and other little toys. there still on the shelves that Grandaddy built before I was born. Grandaddy says there are only about 400 of them, but it looks like more. Grandaddy also has a model train collection up in the attic but he hardly ever goes up there, I think it's because it reminds him too much of Nana.
when I was little Grandaddy would sit in his rocking chair with me in his lap and he would tell me about how the toys come to life at night as I wrapped my little fingers around his beard. Then he would kiss me on the forehead and I would go to sleep dreaming of toys jumping off their shelves and running around the house.
I guess now that I am older I just don't believe stuff like that anymore - which is too bad because it was so great when you are little and oblivious to all that is going on around you. Sometimes I wish that it could be like that again.
when the only things that mattered in life was that you got the bigger scoop of ice cream than your brother, or that the pillows on your bed were pink not purple.
I guess that's just called growing up.

bits and pieces to a song in the works

do you ever feel like life just passes you by
and do you ever feel like you just don't why
and do you ever feel like someday, your gonna wake up and realize it was all a dream

do you ever feel like there's so much more
and do you ever feel like you want to explore
and do you ever feel like you've been put in a box, and someone turned the locks